Scooby Nin of Konoha
by Anime-Ronin
Summary: Sunnydale 2.0, this time with 300 percent more ninjas!
1. Chapter 1

Scooby Nin of Konoha

Author: Anime Ronin

Rating: M for harsh language, sexual references and violence

Summary: Sunnydale 2.0, this time with 300 percent more ninjas!

Disclaimer: I own nothing and make no profits from this.

Chapter 1

(Sunnydale, 1996)

Willow Rosenberg was sitting in a tree. This wasn't new. She liked trees, heck, she was named after one. The issue, if anyone saw her, would come that she was sitting on the underside of a branch, upside down, seemingly ignoring the laws of gravity.

Xander Harris was also sitting in the tree. Again, this wasn't new. He liked trees, he just often hated what they inhabited (noisy birds, aggravating tree-rats, aka 'squirrels', and bugs). He, too, was also seemingly ignoring the laws of gravity, only he was standing perpendicular to the trunk.

Buffy Summers stood in the tree as most people would. This… was new. She didn't like trees for some reason. Go figure. Still, she needed to talk with her long-time friends, friends she technically hadn't made yet, and this spot was as secluded as they were going to get. "How are you guys doing?"

Willow shrugged and, with some chakra manipulation, was sitting on top of the branch. Dressed in her overalls and a long shirt, she was just like Buffy remembered her, "It's kinda weird being young again."

Xander snorted and walked up the tree before joining them on the branch, "Wills, you've only had two other chances to get it right." Dressed in a pair of normal pants and a t-shirt, over which was a solid-colored over-shirt, he looked something like Buffy remembered him.

Willow stuck her tongue out at him. Xander returned the favor.

Buffy rolled her eyes, "Children? Can we please take stock of our situation before the games begin?"

Both pouted and muttered, "Fine."

Xander spoke up first, "Obviously I'm not up to par on anything. Strength, speed, conditioning and dexterity are all shot to hell in a hand basket. Chakra reserves are about a third of what they were when... we 'left'. Control, surprisingly, is only a few ticks below 'abysmal'."

"My control's about where it was before, but my reserves are toast," Willow grumped. "Speed and strength are in the toilet and my conditioning is like that of an asthmatic gerbil."

Buffy shrugged, "Everything's peachy with a side of keen with me."

Again there were tongues being stuck out, only this time in her direction and with the additions of raspberries being blown.

"Put those away unless you're going to use them, you two."

Willow squeaked and blushed. Xander arched an eyebrow and leered. Buffy felt mortified that the old line had slipped from her lips as easily as it had.

"All fun aside, though, what in the hell are we going to do, girls? My memories of last time are a little fuzzy but there's still some stuff I'm not going to let happen." Xander shifted on the branch a bit, causing the leaves the rustle, "I mean, I'd rather see Jesse alive than dust this time."

"Me too," Willow said quietly. "He's a bit of a horndog-"

"A bit?"

"Alright, a big one. Happy, Xander?"

"As long as he's alive? Yes."

"He's a big horndog, Buffy, but he's our horndog. I… I think you would have liked him, once he calmed down."

"Can we get him neutered instead?" The girls gave Xander a scandalized look and he shrugged, "What? It's either that or we take him to a pro and let him get his ashes hauled for a few hours. If that doesn't calm him down, well, it's back to the neutering."

Buffy rolled her eyes, "All men are perverts."

"Then explain Anko to me."

"She's a psycho with sadistic tendencies," Willow growled.

Buffy sighed, "Wills? I know you had your issues with her, but she's at least a dimension away. Can we put away the hostility?" When Willow grumbled 'fine', as grumbling seemed to be the mildest thing she did where Mitarashi Anko was involved, Buffy went on, "Alright. Xander raises a good point – what do we do this time? What do we change, if anything else besides Jesse?"

Xander raised his hand, "I vote we take Angel out right now and I can defend this statement."

"Please do."

"Until the beginning of senior year, he was useless in that he only helped when he had no other choice or when Buffy was involved. After the fact, he still only helped where Buffy was involved or where he thought he could start doing some good. I still don't trust him."

Willow decided to drop in her own two Ryou, "What if we told him about the clause in the Curse? Do you think that would help?"

Xander shrugged, "Without proof? No."

Buffy sighed, "Speaking of proof, we have to deal with Miss Calendar, if only in telling her that we know the truth." She rubbed her brow and winced, "I'm getting a headache. Time travel sucks."

"Not as much as dying did." Willow rolled her shoulder, "Dying does the physically impossible – it sucks and blows at the same time."

"It's not impossible, Wills, just… difficult," Xander said with a slight smirk on his lips. "Much easier to do with the right partner."

Buffy smacked Xander on the back of the head, "Pervert." Xander blew a kiss at her but she went on, "Anyway, anything else? I vote for training." Xander and Willow groaned and Buffy frowned, "What?"

"Train, train, train, Buffy. That's all you do. If we didn't know any better, I'd say you were infected by Maito Gai."

Willow smacked Xander on the shoulder, "That's mean, Xander. True, but mean."

Buffy didn't let her feelings get hurt, given that Xander was still the lazy one of the three, "Alright, Mister _Nara_-alike, we can train ourselves if you don't want group training."

"I'll have you know I do more than cloud watch and play Shogi, Buffy, and I don't even like smoking," Xander grumbled. He disliked being compared to the Nara, if only on principles. "Alright, let's go ahead and break this up. We have places to be and Brits to annoy."

Buffy smiled and leapt out of the tree with Xander while Willow rolled her eyes and simply dropped, "I missed Giles. I'm going to break your record, Xan."

"Keep dreaming, faux-blondie. Wha- ow! Hey, quit it! Stop hitting me, Buffy. Ow! WILLS!"

AN: Alright boys and girls, this is the beginning of something that's been hammered on for a while. Numerous revisions, numerous dead bunnies, but they all run into the same issue – someone will say 'but they'll be vastly over-powering the forces in Sunnydale'. You're right, they will be. They've also got years of re-training to get where they were. Now, where were they? That'll be gone over in future chapters in the dreaded flashbacks. Read and Review, please.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

AN: Some batshitness to occur here after the Flashback (no jutsu), but it's pretty standard stuff, really.

(Konoha – 20 years earlier)

Xander pitched a pebble into a convenient puddle, sitting next to his two best friends, "So, what's the last thing you two remember?"

Willow shrugged as Buffy continued putting her long red hair into pigtails, "I was in bed when it happened. Buffy?"

Buffy paused in her braiding before she resumed, "I was… busy."

Xander looked over at her, his eight year old face suddenly curious, "Really? With who?"

Willow yelped a little as Buffy growled and tugged a little too hard, "That's none of your business, Xander. What about you?"

He shrugged, "I was winging it over the Atlantic to go visit Dawnie at college. We hit a little turbulence but nothing that bad."

Buffy sighed and finished Willow's pigtails, "Alrighty, then, so… what do you think happened?"

Willow moved away before she answered, "I vote Dawn." She flinched back at Buffy's glare and held up her hands, "Well, it's a better than average thing, you know? Who else has messed up more spells than her?"

"You," Xander and Buffy answered quickly and in stereo.

Willow crossed her arms and pouted, an incredibly cute look given her age, "There's no need to be so mean about it."

The Academy bell tolled and Xander sighed, standing up and brushing off the back of his 'standard' black ninja garb, "Alright, chibis, fun and games are over. Off to learn how to kill people as we're in the middle of a war."

"This sucks," Buffy intoned as she also stood up and stretched, her bicycle pants and loose top allowing for the most movement for her favored attacks – taijutsu.

"It swallows, too," Willow grumped, brushing the knees of her kimono off as she rose from her kneeling position. She liked the kimono, it had been a gift from Xander, and she tried her best to take care of it. It was entirely impractical for the ninja arts, but it was a security blanket against the nastiness they were enduring in training and in war.

They were heading towards class before Buffy finally realized something, "Hey, Xan?"

"Yeah?"

"Where do you get off calling us 'chibis'?"

(Sunnydale)

Rupert Giles was a Watcher, a researcher and, if one looked back far enough, a bit of a reformed hellion. As such, when his Slayer had walked into his library with two other students and had promptly started snapping orders to him, making sure to throw in the words 'Watcher', 'Slayer', 'Prophecy' and 'Vampyres', with a 'y' and reaching around to grab the book under the desk, he was entirely flummoxed.

The redheaded female of the trio, 'Willow', had calmly marched into the back of the storage area and emerged with several tomes, one of which she shoved into his hands and told him to get rid of, as it contained a demon named 'Moloch'. The boy, a lanky lad who moved without sound, had moved off into the back and emerged several minutes later toting a bag that quietly rattled and clanked, which worried Rupert. Hadn't he locked the weapons cage?

"Alright, Watcher-man, here's the deal-y; Willow, Xander and I hunt vampires, demons and other nasties and you provide us with weapons, training and sugary goodness for when we return triumphant from battle."

Rupert looked at Buffy for a very long minute before he shook his head, "Slayer Summers, I do not know what you think you are doing involving these two… civilians-" Willow and Xander snorted quietly and not-so-quietly. Buffy glared at him but he went on, "-but it is the sacred duty of the Slayer to fight alone!"

"Which is the reason why very, very few of them lived long enough to buy alcohol legally in this day and age. Oh, and the whole Cruciamentum thing? Not gonna happen if you like being, you know, alive and able to pee standing up," Alexander said somewhat blandly.

Rupert goggled at the boy even as Willow decided to drop in her two Pence, "Yep, we know all about it and, you know, it's really, really not nice of you guys to do something like that. It'd give a girl the thought that she's nothing more than a tool."

Slayer Summers' eyes were shimmering slightly and she pulled both of the civilians into a tight hug, "I love you guys."

Their eyes bugged out slightly as Willow squeaked and Alexander managed to gasp out, "Slayer strength. Slayer strength!"

Rupert grabbed a chair and slowly slid down into it. It was a dream. A nightmare, really. All one, big, America-fueled nightmare…

(Later)

"You took entirely too much joy in that, Xander."

Xander gave Buffy a small smirk as he watched Jesse run off to follow Cordelia, "Probably, Buff, but it's good to see him back in his natural habitat."

Cordelia and Jesse were squabbling within ten seconds of Jesse running off to ask Cordelia about her birthmark, one that Xander knew quite well from his previous excursions in the broom closet, and things went true to form. It genuinely made Xander happy. His brother would not die this time, not if he had anything to say about it.

Willow hugged her books to her chest before she sneered at Harmony, whom had sneered at her, "Do you think we're dropping too much on Giles too quickly, guys? I mean, given the whole 'blunt object' approach we took earlier, it might, you know, break him."

Buffy shrugged, "Maybe, Wills, but taking it easy isn't going to make it any easier when he starts asking questions." She looked up at the clock as they passed and frowned.

Xander didn't take his nose out of the book he had it in when he asked, "What is it, Buffy?"

"I… I need to go."

"The bathroom's that way. It hasn't been that long, you know."

Buffy elbowed Xander and he took several steps sideways, cursing as he put the book away and clutched his injured ribs, "Not that, jerk. I… I need to go see a man about a vampire."

Willow stopped and frowned, "Heinrich?"

"Angel."

"If that's the case, I need to go see a woman about a curse," Xander muttered, his throbbing ribs still distracting him.

"I'm still not sure that's a good idea, Xan. What if she tries something?"

Xander gave Willow a look that was supremely confident in nature, "I survived Anko-chan trying 'stuff', Wills. I think I can survive Janna trying something."

Willow frowned and gave him a look that clearly said 'famous last words'.

(Later – Alleyway)

'She should be here by now,' he thought with a frown. He'd been told when and where to be in order to intercept the Slayer but, like most females in his experience, she was late.

Angel, the vampire with a soul, was so focused on watching for the Slayer that he never saw her sneaking up behind him.

"Should I call you Angel, Angelus, Liam or 'stalker guy with too much gel in his hair'?"

'She's beautiful,' was Angel's first thought. Dressed in a pair of pants that hugged her hips and a halter top that flattered her form, Buffy Summers was a sight to behold.

Her question, though, took that moment to intrude on his ogling, "What?"

"I asked 'should I call you Angel, Angelus, Liam, or-"

He shook his head, "I heard your question."

Buffy rolled her eyes at the vampire and snarked, "Then why'd you ask me to repeat myself?" Honestly, men were so simple at times!

"I'm-"

Buffy cut him off with a grunt and recited the first paragraph of his chronicle to him with a bored tone, "Liam, no last name given, born in Galway, Ireland in 1727. Son of a middle-class linen merchant, playboy and an all around bastard by most accounts by age twenty six. Turned by Darla the vampiress after a night of drinking and debauchery. Any of this sound familiar?"

Angel, stunned by hearing this from her, merely nodded.

Buffy nodded and went on, "Good, 'cause that means that you understand that I know who you are. I know _what_ you are, soul and all. I know the monster you were, too. Keep that damned cross to yourself."

Angel opened his mouth but she held up a finger, "I'm not done. I know you were sent here to help me and I appreciate that, but if you're going to do that, you're going to HELP, not sit around in the shadows and do nothing and only offer cryptic information. If you don't like that, LA is that way – start walking."

Honestly, Buffy wasn't sure how she was going to feel after the speech was given. Part of her hurt having to say it, the part of her that still remembered Angel and how she felt about him, but the larger, more worldly and far deadlier part knew it had to be like this. It didn't make it hurt less anymore, though.

Angel closed his mouth and nodded, "A… alright, Buffy. What do you want?"

"I want a lot of things, actually, but most of them aren't going to happen. I _still_ don't know what a tea cozy is, I won't get to be an ice skater like Dorothy Hamill and I'm stuck being the Slayer. What I _can_ get is you helping us with useful information. My friends and I are going to need it and your help training. Now, toddle off, Angel, I've got to get to the Bronze. Vampires to save, kids to… no, wait, that's backwards." That said, Buffy walked off purposefully towards the Bronze.

It took Angel another few moments to realize that she had mentioned 'friends' and 'training'. Didn't Slayers always work alone?

(Earlier, Janna Kalderash residence)

Jenny Calendar, aka Janna Kalderash, was in a tizzy. Someone had gotten into her house, left several items and a note and LEFT, all without tripping any of the myriad of wards she had in place. The first item was a file, a police file, actually, which had her juvenile record in it. A Post-it note on the outside had a neatly printed comment of 'Wow, a little hellion grew up to be a beautiful woman'. The second item was actually something she knew already – the Chronicle of Angelus, but with it was also a list of the places he had been and whom from her clan had been sent to watch him. The last item, though, the note, worried her the most.

_I know who you are, Janna, and I can understand why your family did what they did. It was a half-assed attempt at vengeance, but what is done is done. I will not allow the Beast to be released, you have my oath on that, but I will also not allow another soul to be damned if it does happen. Tell your Elders this – if Angelus gets free, he will be destroyed and no amount of whining, bitching or complaining from a Rom clan with a vengeance fetish is going to damn a soul. P.S.: Red is a very fetching color on you._

The person or people responsible for this had been in her home WHILE SHE WAS CHANGING and had peeped on her. This made her mad. Very, very mad. An angry woman, a Rom at that, would not be denied her justice.

Outside of the home, Xander smirked as he sat still in the tree, cloaked by a simple invisibility jutsu. It'd taken more out of him than he liked to admit and it wasn't nearly as stable as before, but it did the trick. Now, it was off to the Bronze and then home to get a few hours of Z's before his training-

A familiar blackness slammed into place and Xander never actually saw who or what hit him.

AN: Alright, there's chapter two. For those of you who are worried, no, this isn't a VampNinjaXander story and all of the 'issues' that are being taken care of will only smooth things out for a little while – Murphy dictates that no matter how hard one tries, he will always have his fun. Always. Reviews, please.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

(Library)

"Alright, will someone _please_ tell me what's going on? Where's Xan? How did you two kill that… thing from last night? And since when do you spit fireballs, Willow?!?"

Willow stopped her pacing and gave Jesse a very level look before she ordered, "Sit. Down. Now. Be quiet."

Jesse sat quickly but didn't shut up, "C'mon, Wills, throw me a bone here. Where's Xan and what's up with the-"

Buffy grabbed Jesse by the back of the neck and shook him (gently), "You need to be quiet. We're working on that and you yapping isn't going to help us any."

Seeing a few stars, Jesse did the wise thing and shut up.

"Good. Now, Wills, did he say anything about what he was going to do last night?"

"Only something about visiting Miss Calendar. Beyond that? Nothing."

"Xan went to visit the hot new teacher? At her own place? Way to- shutting up now," Jesse said quickly.

Willow grunted as she reached over and grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and began scribbling. Her control was still decent but she wasn't sure if she had the power to pull off the locating jutsu here on the Hellmouth without things going all kerflooey, so she had to revert to something less accurate and more ham-handed – a locating seal. Provided the damned thing worked and Xander's own innate ability to make things go sideways, the big dummy would be found within the hour.

"Um… Buffy, right?"

"Yes, Jesse. What is it?"

"What's she doing?"

"Trying to find Xander."

Jesse blinked, "Um… how?"

Buffy shrugged, "Probably using a Locating Seal. She hates them but I think that's because they tend to like not working for her. She gets angry when things don't go her way."

Jesse nodded, "I know. This one time her computer decided that it wasn't going to work right and Xander and I walked in to find her yelling at it, telling it to, and I quote, 'respect her mastery over it and work'."

Buffy chuckled, her mind supplying a Willow dressed as a police officer with a 'Respect my Authoritay' caption under it.

Willow turned and growled at the two, "No comments from the cheap seats!" before she went back to work. The seal was being fussy but it was slowly coming together. Once it was done, she produced a small penknife and, with a swift slice, drew blood, which she smeared over the seal, causing it to glow.

Jesse's panicked voice cut through her concentration, "What in the hell do you think you're doing, Willow? You can't cur yourself like that." He bolted from his seat and grabbed her hand and the knife, wrestling with her for it.

The lapse in concentration caused the seal to blow up.

(Elsewhere)

Xander awoke with a groan. He'd forgotten how much waking up after getting knocked out sucked.

An experimental wiggling of his extremities told him that he'd been tied up to a chair by someone with some skill. He wasn't sure if this was a good thing or not, given that the last thing he recalled was being outside of Jenny Calendar's house, though the thought that she knew bondage both aroused him and made him a little queasy, given her past… well, possibly future relationship with Giles.

"Don't bother trying to free yourself from the ropes, young man."

Xander sighed. Yep, Jenny. "Jenny Calendar, I presume? Or should I call you Janna?"

Someone walked out of the darkness behind him and placed a hand on the back of his neck, "I think I will be the one asking the questions here, young man. Let's start out with a simple one: where did you come from?"

His answer, of course, was a mixture of truth and laced heavily with some smartassedness, "If you believe my parents, I'm the product of a twelve pack of cheap beer, no condom and the backseat of a 1978 Plymouth."

Jenny backhanded him and had a hell of an arm, too. Sure, he'd taken worse in his other body but this one wasn't as hardened.

He spat out some saliva mixed with some blood from a cut on the inside of his cheek, "What was that for? You asked where I came from and I told you."

"Who sent you?"

"I sent myself." If she wanted to play this game, she was going to have to work at it.

Hours passed and Jenny became increasingly frustrated as the fifteen year old boy continued to stonewall her as to which Clan had sent him. Her running theory was that, given the information he'd possessed, he had been sent by a Clan to do her mission harm. This could not be allowed, regardless of how she felt about said mission. As such, she'd started trying different things, ranging from potions to weak compulsion spells to blatant sexual maneuvering, which had seemed to work the best. This didn't surprise her, though – she was damned good when she wanted to be and he was only a boy.

Still, though, the boy was not giving her the information she wanted, which was leading her to a more drastic turn of mind, "Tell me, child, or I will start cutting off bits and pieces of you."

He, of course, repeated what he had said several times in the previous hours, "Physical torture is a very poor way of garnering information, Janna."

She ripped the blindfold she'd had on him off and stared into his eyes. Instead of terror, though, she found acceptance. Instead of pleading, she found calm. NOT what she was expecting. Her anger evaporated as she stared into his eyes and all she found herself asking was, "Who are you?"

His reply was prompt, "Harris, Alexander. Chuunin of Konohagakure."

"What does that mean?"

"That means that I'm good at what I do and, more importantly, I know what I'm doing."

"Then how did I catch you?"

'I got lazy and cocky,' came his mental snark but that was not what passed his lips. "I underestimated you. I won't do it again."

"What makes you think you can leave in order to do it again?"

A slight twinkle entered his eyes and a smirk came to his lips, "What makes you think I couldn't leave here any time I wanted? _Kawarimi no jutsu_."

Time and space seemed to warp for Janna and it several minutes for her to get her bearings, but she found herself tied to the chair, the very same chair that 'Harris, Alexander' had been tied to, and he now stood before her rubbing his wrists. What the hell had happened?

"In case you're wondering, Janna, I'm not Houdini reborn and that was not magic. Toodles."

"Wait! You… you're not going to let me go?"

"Why should I? I think the difference in the size of our arms should have loosened them enough. If I don't see you in a day or two, though, I'll come back and free you. Scouts honor," he said with a grin and two raised fingers.

With that, Alexander Harris left and Janna Kalderash began to stew while she worked on the ropes that bound her hands. She now had a name to go with the face. She would find out what she could. She _would_ have her answers.

AN: Alright, and another one is down. Yes, I'm keeping Jesse alive - Xander needs more male friends and he's going to be suitable for a while, if for nothing more than a meatshield / kawarimi fodder. Reviews, please.


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